The Value-Forward Approach to Community

(“I have nothing to offer” is bullshit)

“He’s only talking to me because he wants me to get the guy next door to give him access to the Seahorse analyzer”

You know that person who seems to know everyone? They somehow manage to bump into five acquaintances regardless of whether they’re at a national conference or that weird antiques store off the highway. They’re experts at networking and, it appears, will talk with anyone and everyone. These are the people who will know who to introduce you to when you need an outside opinion on your work, a collaborator, someone to bitch about that colleague with. They have all the inside information and can show you where the hidden hierarchies are within your department and the wider organisation. You want them on your side.

Another interesting thing about people like this is that if you get to know one of them well enough to be around after they’ve talked with the 10^th acquaintance in the past 15 minutes, you’ll also get to hear their opinions on the people they’ve just greeted with a friendly smile and inviting conversation. Those opinions are… often less than positive. Their conversation partners won’t know it, of course, because they want to maintain their reputation. It doesn’t serve them to show what they’re really thinking. But if you’re in the inner circle, they might tell you. And what I’ve learned from being close to several of these expert networkers is that the number one thing that causes them to have a negative opinion of a person is when that person is blatantly trying to get something out of networking with them without offering anything of value first, essentially, attempting to gain from the connection without bothering to build one first.

It's an easy mistake to make. You see someone talking to everyone, you know they’re well-connected, and you want access to all the information they have; because they talk with everyone, it makes sense that they’d talk to you, too, and listen to you describe your project, your career goals, whatever you’re currently focused on. But one of the reasons an expert networker can afford to talk with so many people is that very few of those people will engage in a way that actually leads to a connection that takes up more time than a 5-minute chat in the hallway every so often. They don’t have time to build more meaningful connections with everyone, and most people don’t do the things that facilitate those connections. If you’re just using them to get access to that Seahorse analyzer two floors down, they’re probably going to know it.

What’s often missing is value.

Not the value you can get from the connection, but the value you can offer. If you want to move past surface networking and actually make an ally out of someone who knows everyone (or, in fact, anyone at all), you have to have something to offer first. And this extends to all types of community-building and networking. We often try to connect with a person or a community because we want something, but where there is something of value, there will be hundreds, if not thousands, of people wanting something. Wanting something doesn’t make you stand out, nor does it build connection. If you want lettuce from a community garden, you might get some by asking, but over time, you’ll be seen as the person who just takes. Offer something in return, like space in your greenhouse or help with weeding, and you’ll become part of the community instead of a person who just wants something from it.

It takes effort to be part of a connection rather than just a beneficiary of it (and you’re not likely to benefit long-term without the effort). Of course, we don’t have the time or energy to put that effort into every connection we attempt to make. That’s why it’s important to be intentional about the networks we build. I’m active in four communities and couldn’t realistically get that involved in many more because I take the time to make sure I’m actively adding value. One characteristic that’s shared across all those communities is that everyone in them provides value of some sort, and that in itself carries the communities. Yes, people ask for advice, but those people are also sharing strategies and opinions and information that’s of value to the rest of the group. That’s what makes it work.

It's also not that hard to become part of something if you’re willing to put in the effort to provide that value. This is because most people won’t even try. That’s not necessarily a bad thing (see my comment above about time), it just means you have less ‘noise’ to cut through than you might think. If you’re trying to get in with a small network of scientists in your subfield, you don’t need to try to somehow be more impressive or more useful than the thousands of people in your field. You just need to show up with a value-forward attitude. Just look at some of the large social media creators who build subcommunities on sites like this out of their following—people who have 500K+ followers on the socials end up with <200 active community members because out of that large group, only a few are willing to put in the time and effort required to be present in a more personal space. It filters out the people who want to consume vs. those who want to participate.

Of course, transactional networking is sometimes necessary and is not inherently bad, but if you’re looking to build a more long-term connection or community, a value-forward approach will serve you well.

So, when you’ve decided you want to network with someone or get involved in a specific community, set aside what you want from it for a moment and focus on what you can bring. If you think you have nothing of value to offer, think again. You might be early in your career or a grad student thinking, “How can I possibly offer anything of value to these well-connected, experienced scientists?” Let me tell you what people value (almost) more than anything—talking about their work/their life and having someone actively listen to them. In any situation, if you want to network with someone but feel like you have nothing to offer them directly, remember this. Asking them questions about their work, listening to them, asking interesting follow-up questions… that is all providing value. It also gives you sufficient information about the person’s interests to follow-up with them later on with articles you think they might find interesting, or perhaps an invitation for a coffee chat about one of the methods they’re using.

When we lead with value, we become part of the bigger picture and tend to get what we were looking for without having to explicitly engage in intentional give-and-take behaviour. It just happens naturally because we’re regularly in conversation with others, and that interaction builds the trust and connection that lends itself to productive community.

Build the relationship with a value-forward approach first. ‘Use’ the connection later.

Next time you’re at a conference or meeting, challenge yourself to lead with value. Ask a question, share a resource, or simply listen.